Now What?

(Journal #1: January 12, 2005) Post #7

Dr. Duncan called yesterday to tell me the radiologist believes the mass did absorb the contrast and suspects lymphoma.  The good news is he did not see any other suspicious areas.  Now what?  

Dr. Duncan suggests a PET scan which can confirm/dismiss cancer, expose any other suspicious places, and eliminate unnecessary surgery.  So, I’ll get to work with my general physician to get this done.

I feel so strongly now why You gave me the revelation about Peter walking on water.  Without warning this mass is here, but Jesus you are still the answer!  I feel like I’m in the process of my healing miracle (walking on water) and if I don’t look at the storm (bad reports, fear, doubt, unbelief) and keep my eyes on You and trust You, I will walk right through this storm with You holding out Your hand to me.  Thank you, Lord.

In 2 Kings 6, Elisha was surrounded by the enemy.  His servant was afraid and Elisha told him not to fear because “those that be with us are more than those against us.”  He prayed for God to open the servant’s spiritual eyes and he saw thousands of fiery chariots!  But, just because the servant could see the angels in the spiritual realm didn’t make the enemy disappear in the natural realm! I feel like you’re telling me that two truths can co-exist.  I have healing in the spiritual realm, but still see sickness in the natural.  The power of faith brings the truth of the spirit to the natural.  Healing comes from inside out.  I must see myself whole before I actually experience it naturally.  Wow!

When David fought Goliath, he remembered the victories You had already given him. He didn’t let the size of his enemy scare him into thinking You would not come through for him. Saul and others tried to talk David out of battling Goliath by pointing out his small stature and trying to put fear and doubt into his mind.  But David ran toward Goliath and told him that his God would defeat him. He didn’t sit back and wait to be attacked. 

Lymphoma is Goliath to me!  So hear this, lymphoma… you are defeated!

Hebrews 4:14 …let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.

Hebrews: 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

There’s an Order to the Armor

April 19, 2020   (Post #36)

(From Journal #3:  October 31, 2005)

As Christians, we so often talk about “putting on the armor of God” but You showed me that the armor has an order to it.  First, there must be truth.  Then we need righteousness, which cannot exist without truth.  And our feet cannot support truth or righteousness without the readiness that only comes from the gospel of peace.  If truth, righteousness and peace aren’t in place, I cannot effectively raise the shield of faith or wield the sword of the Spirit.

I’ve been trying to use my sword and shield without having the foundation of my armor in peace.  Without my belt of truth, I don’t even see the true enemy.  Without righteousness, I cannot operate in obedience and love.  Without my feet ready to stand firm on the gospel of peace, I will only have strife, fear and unbelief.  How could I possibly have a sword that is sharp and effective without faith, or a shield of faith without my body armor?

The belt, breastplate and shoes are body armor.  The shield and the sword are weapons of war.  The helmet of salvation protects our minds as we boldly stand in the authority of Jesus and on His Word.  I must be sure to “cover” and protect my body with truth, righteousness, and peace before I take my weapons into battle.

Ephesians 6:10-18: Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

Pursue the Enemy

July 26, 2020    (Post #45)

(From Journal #4:  March 4, 2006)

This morning while reading the Bible, I saw something in Psalm 18 I hadn’t seen before:  Psalm 18:37-39:  I pursued my enemies and overtook them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed.  I crushed them so that they could not rise; they fell beneath my feet.  You armed me with strength for battle…

This so spoke to me about the recent decision I had to make about whether or not to do another round of immunotherapy for non-Hodgkins lymphoma as the doctor suggested.  He also said that because NHL is “chronic” some doctors treat initially to “suppress” the cancer and then “wait and watch.” I remember what immediately sprang up from my heart and out of my mouth:  “I’m not interested in managing cancer.  I’m getting rid of it.”  

Oh Lord, this scripture confirms to me that I am rightly pursuing my enemy cancer and I won’t stop until it’s destroyed.  I refuse to accept that the enemy somehow has “permission” to stay and attack my body under the guise of “chronic.”  The enemy is crushed and beneath my feet because it’s beneath YOUR feet and I know who I am in You!  Your Holy Spirit living inside me provides the strength and power to fight this enemy to its destruction.  

Romans 6:20:  And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly.  The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.

Ephesians 1:22-23:  And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Another Gut Punch!

January 17, 2021:  (Post #58)

(From Journal #8:   December 13, 2006)

Yesterday was my first round of immunotherapy again.  What a long day. Left the house at 7:30 a.m. and didn’t get home until almost 6:00 p.m.  I had another allergic reaction, so that slowed things down.  But this reaction wasn’t as severe as last time, so I am grateful.

My last CT scan report obviously wasn’t what I was believing for.  The lymph nodes that had previously shrunk had grown and a few more lymph nodes in that vicinity were larger.  I’m not going to try and pretend with You because You know the truth anyway.  I was disappointed and not excited about having to do treatments again.  The enemy has tried to bring frightening thoughts to my mind, but I refuse to listen.  I will take this treatment with the same faith as before!

I see how my quiet time with You keeps getting interrupted; the enemy knows “interruption and distraction” are his greatest weapons.  I need the Word before my eyes as well as in my ears. “Seeing is believing” and I need to “see” the Word as well as “hear” it.  His goal is to keep me from everything that increases my faith.  Help me to not cooperate with his schemes.

I know the truth and the truth shall set me free.  I will not let go of my confidence.  You are faithful.  Any thoughts that come into my mind contrary to Your Word, I resist in Jesus’ Name!

Romans 10:17:  So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Proverbs 4:20-22:  My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.

John 8:31-32:  And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Wrestling the Serpent!

March 3, 2021   (Post #60)

(From Journal #8:  February 27, 2007)

I had a dream last night that in turn called to my remembrance an encounter I had with a snake years ago that is a testament to this dream…

In the dream, it seemed as if John and I were in a hotel room, and someone else was there, but I don’t know/remember who. (I’m thinking a guardian angel?)  Someone was trying to break into the room to kill us!  They had tried to kill us before and I remembered how we’d been kept safe and I was explaining it to this person and told them You would protect us, but we had to fight back and “armor up” but I knew we’d be okay, and we were! “Victory before the battle…”

My encounter with a snake was after I’d just seen the movie “The Passion of the Christ” which was released in 2004.  This happened even before I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma.  The spiritual significance of this encounter has revealed itself many times.  Snakes never announce themselves; they sneak in.  We have to be on watch and deal with them when they expose themselves.

I let the dogs out in the morning and went outside with them.  I was in my PJs and barefoot.  We had a koi pond and I went to check the skimmer.  As I had my hand in the water, I saw from my peripheral vision a snake head in the pond!  One of my bassets was drinking from the pond!  I was afraid the snake would strike my dog.  I jumped up and got long snippers that would reach and clip plants in the pond. I reached and managed to get the snake’s head in those clippers.  IMMEDIATELY, that snake came out of the water and wrapped itself around the shaft of that tool!  Freaked me out.  I was afraid to drop the tool for fear it would strike me or the dogs.

I realized I had to fight.  I began to squeeze those clippers as hard as I could on that serpent’s neck.  The problem was, I had a bad case of tennis elbow.  At that time, it was hard and painful for me to even squeeze a dish cloth. But as painful as it was, I knew I couldn’t let the serpent get away.  I thought of the movie and how Jesus ultimately crushed the serpent.  So I began to pray and kept squeezing that snake that fought me hard.  The Lord gave me strength to keep fighting.  After about 20 minutes or so, the snake finally quit fighting me; I’d killed him.  When I finally let him out of the clippers, I measured him and he was 31 inches long!  To me, that was huge.  This wasn’t just a victory against a natural snake in my pond.  This was a spiritual victory against an enemy that would come to attack my health and other areas of my life over and over.  I must always be on guard, confident that You are my protector.

Genesis 3:1:  Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made….

Psalm 91:13:  You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

2 Corinthians 2:11:   …lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.

1 Peter 5:8:  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Ephesians 6:10-11:  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 

Revelation 20:2:  He seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil, or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years.

Divine Protection!

January 9, 2022  (Post #66)

(From Journal #10:  September 7, 2007)

Lord, last night you saved my life!  I know an angel was with me.  When I changed the light bulb in the library lamp which is set on a timer, the thing literally blew up on me!  My hand was inside the shade screwing in the bulb and the lamp exploded, began sparking, smoking, and spewing!  I’ve never seen anything like it!  

I jerked the cord out of the wall and it continued for several minutes.  The smell was awful.  I could have been electrocuted but I DIDN’T EVEN GET A BURN!  Oh, Jesus, thank You!  If You were not protecting “our tent” the house could’ve burned down with this lamp being on a timer and defective.  Not only was I not burned, I didn’t even get a surge of electricity!  Before when I’ve changed bulbs, I’ve sometimes gotten a shock if my hand got too close to the base.  Unplugging lamps before changing bulbs will become a must.

I set it outside in the driveway because I wasn’t sure how long it was dangerous and then prayed over the other lamps inside on timers.  Prayers of protection are powerful. Psalm 91 is real!  The enemy is always out to destroy us, so we can never let down our guard and become lax in praying for Your divine protection.

Psalm 91:9-12:  If you make the Most High your dwelling– even the LORD, Who is my refuge–then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.  For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 

1 Peter 5:8:  Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.