September 27, 2020  (Post #51)

(From Journal #5:  April 20, 2006)

I watched a great teaching yesterday and the woman said something that hit me right between the eyes:  “Fear is an emotional response to unbelief.”  

Unbelief is actually a spiritual thing that produces a physical, natural response:  fear!  When fear attacks, I pray You will help me check myself, and let You show me any areas of unbelief.  For instance, this thing about my heart having some weird symptoms has caused fear.  I know that fear is not of  You.  The enemy uses fear to fuel unbelief.  Wow!  We’re on to him, Lord.

I also see another way that I open myself up for the enemy to attack me with fear.  It’s been several days since I’ve been in my journal.  I have missed You and I know You didn’t go anywhere…  I traveled to see my family and have been busy and distracted.  In other words, I didn’t keep my time in prayer and in the Word as my top priority.  I threw up some hurried verbal prayers, but I have missed my deep written prayers and conversations with you.  They’re a record of our relationship and are priceless.  

Oh Jesus, I cannot live and function without You.  I see what happens to me after about three days and it’s not good.  It affects my temperament and I become impatient with others rather than walking in love.  I catch myself grumbling and complaining rather than having a heart of joy, peace and gratitude.  Forgive me.

You are my rock, my source of everything.  You are faithful when I am not.  I thank You for never leaving me nor forsaking me.

2 Timothy 1:7:  For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

1 Peter 5:7-8:  …casting all your anxiety upon Him, for He cares for you.  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith…

Psalm 91:1-2:  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.   I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

August 29, 2020   (Post #47)

(From Journal #4:   March 22, 2006)

Lord, there are two accounts in Matthew where You healed the blind, and asked them interesting, yet very different questions?  

To the first men who kept following You and crying out for mercy, You asked in Matthew 9:27-29, …“Do you believe that I am able to do this?”  They said to Him, “Yes, Lord.”  Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.”  

And to the second men sitting by the road who kept crying out to you for mercy, even though the crowd warned them to be quiet, You stood still and called them and asked in Matthew 20:32-34, “What do you want Me to do for you?” They said to Him, “Lord, that our eyes may be opened.” So Jesus had compassion and touched their eyes.  And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.”

These questions seem odd since in both cases the blind men followed, pursued, and shouted out for mercy.  It seems obvious that in both cases they wanted their sight and believed You were able or they wouldn’t have been so persistent.  Yet, You never asked the first men what they wanted, only if they believed You were able? That direct question made them answer what was truly in their hearts and “according to their faith” it was done for them.

The second men clearly believed You were able or they wouldn’t have kept calling out to You in spite of the crowd trying to stop them.  So, why did You ask what they wanted when it seems so clear?  I think it was a lesson for the unbelieving crowd…

These blind men had never been able to “see and believe” a miracle with their natural eyes as did the multitude who kept trying to silence them rather than believe they could be healed and try to help them get to You.  They “believed without seeing” in the natural and “saw and believed” with spiritual eyes of faith!  By asking what they wanted You to do for them, You gave them a choice to ask for what they really wanted and valued. They could have asked for wealth as well as their sight, but they didn’t. They knew if they could see with their natural eyes and follow You, everything else would take care of itself. They knew what was most important.

This is convicting, Lord.  We can deceive ourselves into thinking that just because we follow You, we are full of faith.  Yet in our hearts we don’t always “see and believe.”  We see and hope maybe? 

Matthew 13:16:  But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.

August 9, 2020  (Post #46)

(From Journal #4:  March 22, 2006)

Lord, I believe You’ve got a revelation for me to study and document:  “Seeing is Believing.”  I immediately thought of John 20:29:  Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” Jesus clearly said that those who would believe in Him “without seeing” evidence of miracles, etc., were blessed.  Help me to understand and grasp what you want me to “see” from this study.  I’m going to review as much scripture as I can about those who would “see and believe,” those who “saw and yet would not believe” and those who “believed without seeing.”  I’ll just start in Matthew with what Jesus said about our eyes…

“The eye is the lamp of the body. Therefore if your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”  (Matthew 6:22-23) 

This almost sounds like an oxymoron, Lord.  How can light be darkness?  I think You’re saying that if our spiritual eyes are blinded by evil, then our natural eyes cannot “see” the truth, only deception.  So often the “spiritual leaders” were the ones who were filled with darkness and pride and rejected what they saw.

Jesus marveled at the centurion because he saw with spiritual eyes that Jesus had the authority to heal his servant by just speaking; he didn’t need to see any “proof” with his natural eyes.  Matthew 8:8, 10:  The centurion answered and said, “Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof.  But only speak a word, and my servant will be healed.”  When Jesus heard it, He marveled, and said to those who followed, “Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel!…”

When Jesus told the paralytic that his sins were forgiven and to pick up his mat and go home, the religious scribes were offended and called Him a blasphemer rather than “seeing” the miracle!  However, the people saw and believed.  Matthew 9:8:  Now when the multitudes saw it, they marveled and glorified God, who had given such power to men.

Lord, how many times have I seen Your faithfulness, and yet later doubted and feared from unbelief?  Seeing should be believing…

December 6, 2019  (Post #19)

(From Journal #1:  March 6, 2005)

I’ve been reading Matthew, and Matthew 11:12 jumped out at me:  “From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.”  I am struck by the phrase “forceful men lay hold of it.”  I want to meditate and study this, and pray for revelation about what You want to show me, Lord.

John the Baptist was referred to as Elijah in Matthew 17:11-13.  Malachi 4:5 prophesies “Elijah” will come before the day of the Lord.  This is John the Baptist.  After Malachi, there were no prophets for 400 years.  In order to understand Matthew 11:12, I felt moved to study Elijah in 1 Kings 17. 

Elijah meets a widow who thought she was totally defeated.  She was gathering sticks to make a fire in order to prepare a tiny “last meal” for her son and her, and then to “die.”  He told her not to be afraid, to go home and do as she said, but first make a small cake for him, and then make food for herself and her son.  Elijah told her she would not run out of flour or oil until the Lord sends rain.  She did what Elijah told her and her supplies did not run out for many days.  This is in essence an example of tithing.  If we obey the Lord and put Him first, He will use whatever resources we have, no matter how small it seems to us.  He will magnify and multiply for as long as is needed.

Later the woman’s son became sick and he died, and she blamed Elijah!  But she is the one who had spoken death into their lives.  Elijah took the boy and cried to the Lord three times and the Lord brought him back to life!  Then the woman said to Elijah, “Now by this I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord in your mouth is the truth.”

Even though she had already seen and experienced a miracle from God, she did not really trust and believe.  When her son got sick, she did not remember His faithfulness in the past.  Trials come in our lives. We have to remember what the Lord has already done and have faith in Him to do it again.