Another Gut Punch!

January 17, 2021:  (Post #58)

(From Journal #8:   December 13, 2006)

Yesterday was my first round of immunotherapy again.  What a long day. Left the house at 7:30 a.m. and didn’t get home until almost 6:00 p.m.  I had another allergic reaction, so that slowed things down.  But this reaction wasn’t as severe as last time, so I am grateful.

My last CT scan report obviously wasn’t what I was believing for.  The lymph nodes that had previously shrunk had grown and a few more lymph nodes in that vicinity were larger.  I’m not going to try and pretend with You because You know the truth anyway.  I was disappointed and not excited about having to do treatments again.  The enemy has tried to bring frightening thoughts to my mind, but I refuse to listen.  I will take this treatment with the same faith as before!

I see how my quiet time with You keeps getting interrupted; the enemy knows “interruption and distraction” are his greatest weapons.  I need the Word before my eyes as well as in my ears. “Seeing is believing” and I need to “see” the Word as well as “hear” it.  His goal is to keep me from everything that increases my faith.  Help me to not cooperate with his schemes.

I know the truth and the truth shall set me free.  I will not let go of my confidence.  You are faithful.  Any thoughts that come into my mind contrary to Your Word, I resist in Jesus’ Name!

Romans 10:17:  So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Proverbs 4:20-22:  My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.

John 8:31-32:  And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Seeing is Believing (Part 3)

September 6, 2020  (Post #48)

(From Journal #4:  March 24, 2006)

As I continue to study “seeing is believing” it is striking at how most forgot the miracles they witnessed, even John the Baptist…the one who baptized Jesus! It seems if anyone would never waver, it would be him.  And yet, while imprisoned he sent his disciples to ask Jesus in Matthew 11:3 …“Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”  Jesus’ response to the disciples was to go back and remind John what he had heard and seen.  In other words, he had witnessed enough to know that Jesus is the Messiah.  This also shows me that all of us can fall into doubt and unbelief if we focus on our problems rather than reflect on what we have seen.  

Jesus rebuked the cities in which most of His miracles had been done because they would not believe what they had seen and repent.  There were those who saw Your miracles and marveled and believed, but it was the religious leaders, the Pharisees and the Sadducees who saw the same things, yet rejected You and asked for more “signs.”  They had “eyes of darkness.”  Jesus said cities that had been destroyed due to their wickedness would have repented in sackcloth and ashes if they had seen Jesus’ miracles!  The people and cities who saw and yet would not believe are without excuse.  That’s true for us today.

In John 4:46-54, a nobleman whose son was dying went to find Jesus and asked him to come heal his son. He wanted to “see” this.  Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your son lives.”  So the man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him, and he went his way.  And as he was now going down, his servants met him and told him, saying, “Your son lives!”  Then he inquired of them the hour when he got better.  And they said to him, “Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him.  So the father knew that it was at the same hour in which Jesus said to him, “Your son lives.”  And he himself believed, and his whole household. Just like the centurion, this man “believed without seeing.”

I think of the formula “If A=B, and B=C, then A=C.”  If “seeing is believing” then “believing is seeing.”  IS is a verb of being:  God is I AM, therefore, I AM is God!

Lord, help me hold on to this as I battle non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and life in general which is full of hardships.  Help me to…

  • See and believe in the present
  • Remember what I have seen and believed in the past
  • Believe without seeing in the future.

Knowing Your Voice

October 17, 2019 (Post #14)

(Journal #1:  February 12, 2005)

So much has happened in a week!  I’ve seen an oncologist, surgeon and cardiologist.  My heart is fine, thank You, Lord!  The cardiologist said the enlarged lymph nodes around the kidney most likely caused my adrenal gland to make my heart race.  He actually said it’s a blessing or otherwise the lymphoma would’ve gone undetected.  I’m so grateful to You for exposing this.  On the 10th I went for pre-op tests because surgery is scheduled for the 15th.  Things are happening fast.

I received a call from a prayer-warrior friend who’s been praying for me.  She said as she was praying, she felt You telling her that I know and hear Your voice.  Lord, how that blessed me!  Thank you for those words of comfort and confirmation.  She also felt led to give me this scripture, Ezekiel 12:28:  “Therefore say to them, “This is what the Sovereign Lords says:  None of My words will be delayed any longer; whatsoever I say will be fulfilled, declares the Sovereign Lord.”

Lord, how I thank You for Your faithfulness and I will continue to confess Your Word, which is truth.  There aren’t enough words to express the gratitude in my heart that You are with me through all this and have revealed the hidden things.

John 10:3-5:   …”He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out.When He has brought out all His own, He goes on ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice.But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” 

John 10:14:  “I am the Good Shepherd; I know My sheep and My sheep know me.”

2 Thessalonians 3:3:  But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.

Psalm 145:17-19:   The Lord is righteous in all His ways and faithful in all He does. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them.